Counting day

Its only a day left for that. Every time it came into my head, my heart became faster, my tongue freeze and speechless and i start palpitation as restless so much. I not even can think about it much. So many thing in my head that i imagine would be happen. Is that i paranoid? Maybe. And it make me sick actually.

Maybe that day he don't want to see me at all. Maybe he will left the things just in front of his house and ask me to put the thing there too. Maybe he will came and slap me or laugh at me. Or maybe he will came with another girl as replacement of me. Oh so many maybe and i think i paranoid. Yes i am.

Every time i think bout it, i like wanna cry. My eyes start producing a water that will be a tear when it be on my cheeks. The red eyes of me became worst when i continue thinking of it. It just like a huge rock on my chest and i could not put it off. And when it still there after some other time, i notice that my hand start wiping my cheeks, my shirt wet and i start cuddle a pillow just beside my lappy. And then i know i cry again.

Counting the day is not the best part of my life for now. The day that i counting will which determine the length of our relationship afterward. I never asked for him to come back to me. I just want to be happy without him. After all the love that i sacrificed and he never appreciate , it is the time for me to move on. I deserve better or he maybe.

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Just hope my dream tonight is without him as he came into my dream every night. And my day will be much more better after the day that i keep counting for. Please as i will left the things with you, let me also leave all the sorrow, memories and the pain that you gave it to me. I don't need it anymore.

Keep smiling, girl :)